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Do you believe in teaching you ...
untitled / Family & Parenting / 10:18 PM - Sunday May 11, 2008
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(Female, 36-45) asked:


Do you believe in teaching your children if someone hits you you hit them back or if someone bullies you you bully them back?


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A Creative (Female, 22-25, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: mysticqt


Eye for an eye, of course.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, Charlotte, Who Cares?, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: smartblond


no.. I believe in standing up for yourself but hitting back.. never... as far as bullies same thing.. you tell and adult you walk away you do NOT cater to them or become a doormat but going down to their levels is not going to solve anything and more then likely will esculate the issue

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, 46-55) answered:

Screenname: pepperman46


No hitting and bulling never solves anything. ignoring them or being smarter than them works well.

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A Guy Critical (Male, 56-65, Retired) answered:

Screenname: trhjr1


You damn right. If they let other kids hit and bully them without taking up for themselves they will get run over for the rest of their lives.

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A Hippie Chick (Female, 46-55, Hospitality) answered:

Screenname: buffalothighs88


I think they are sometimes justified in that "2nd punch." NEVER hitting first.

I don't believe in bullying on any level.

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A Thinker (Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: isthistrue


Yes and no. If you teach this, your children could misinterpet an accidental bumping as hitting. But I do believe you need to teach your children to stand up for themselves. My (late) husband told me of the time his children were being bullied. He had told them never to fight back so they didn't. It got to an unbearable point. My husband then told his children to defend themselves. I guess they took brooms and other items to use for weapons. They were never bullied by thes kids again. So I think there is a fine line here.

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A Cool Mom (Female, Philadelphia, 36-45, Home Maker) answered:

Screenname: mburgos


well, that's a tough one in this day and age... i teach my children not to look for trouble .. but if trouble comes there way and iuf there is no way to avoid it.. to take that person down as fast as you can. then they;ll know to leave you alone.. i seen innocent girls that didn't want trouble and it made the bully want to pick on them more to show off in front of their, this is 2008 and everyone should be prepared to defend their self.. people don't talk no more times have changed...even though we would want things differently, it's called life and reality, and the most important survival...especially if your from the ghetto, as i'm not proud . but i am... and everyday is survival..

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A Thinker (Female, Philadelphia, 46-55, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: graziella


Absolutely not. That might have been old school, but my daughter might run the risk of getting hurt or expelled or having it on her permanent record. If someone were to strike her she is to tell an adult right away - and let the school deal with it. Most schools have a zero tolerance policy for bullying. Also the punishment is so, so severe compared to what it was when we were young. Talk to your school principal to find out the protocol and policy for bullying. If your child is being bullied someone needs to know and know now. They should be dealt with swiftly and severely.

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An Intellectual Guy (Male, San Francisco, 56-65) answered:

Screenname: chesterdad


Hell yes.

There was an article in Psychology Today a few years back, called "Everyone loves a bully", and it described how bullies generally aren't the type we imagine. Mostly, they're smart kids who play sports after school, not the ones who hang out and act useless. Bullies receive a lot of validation from other kids when put on their act, and it gives them self-confidence to continue. This can be a good thing, in a way.
These kids will grow up with social skills to excel in adult life.
The article suggested teaching the other kids NOT to give bullies encouragement, but I think that's stupid. Instead, they should teach ALL the kids how to play the bully's game!

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