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Uncensored Responses

A man gets caught cheating on ...
untitled / Married Life / 8:19 AM - Saturday May 17, 2008
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(Female, 29-35) asked:


A man gets caught cheating on his spouse and feels no remorse. What does that say for the future of his marriage?


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A Creative (Female, 36-45, Student) answered:

Screenname: fastball


It says that the future of his marriage is not very good and some things need to be done to either strengthen the marriage again or something needs to be done to end it so that both people don't continue to suffer... sometimes it's harder to leave than stay because of the amount one has invested in the relationship...:D

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A Thinker (Female, 36-45, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: springishere


It's in trouble...

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A Life of the Party (Female, New York, Who Cares?, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: funinthesungirl


That there is no future. The least he can do if he loves his wife is feel some amount of guilt for having betrayed her.

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A Creative (Male, 46-55, Alternative Medicine) answered:

Screenname: winterhaven


no remorse= he'll do it again.

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A Mr. Married Guy (Male, 36-45, Consulting) answered:

Screenname: justme38271


That he was cheating shows the marriage is over,that he got caught shows he's too dumb for the woman to consider trying to save the marriage with him even if there were a chance to save itanyway,to show no remorse for it all shows the marriage is not only over and that he's dumb but also that he won't change.
For the woman to consider doing more would be her stooping to his level on these different things.

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A Rebel (Male, 22-25, Internet / New Media) answered:

Screenname: creus


it screams "DIVORCE"

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A Thinker (Female, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: sugardoll4450


Some men just feel so absolute. They feel like they said until death do us part... And they did. So that's the future of their marriage. I would say if it was your husband. You should talk to him. Never assume anything. We women tend to read way to much into things. Maybe he doesn't know how to handle this situation...

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A Trendsetter (Female, 29-35) answered:

Screenname: freedom1


It all depends on how the woman feels about being disrespected and how she feels about what she is getting out of the marriage.

If anyone cheats and feels no remorse, I believe they have no true concern for the other prson, and other things would lag behind too. They'de be forgetting birthdays, ignoring when somenoe is sick (heaven forbid get diagnosed with cancer, they woudl probably have sex with everyone in sight if that happened,) angry when the house or yard is not immaculate. And so on. The disreepsceted person has to at some point know that they are way down on the list of priortiies for the other person.

Only that person knows if its worh "staying" in the marriage. Staying in the marriage down't always mean living together or seeign each other every day or having a true relationship within a marriage. People stay together legally for many other reasons.

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A Thinker (Female, 46-55, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: butternutbisque


There is no future..

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A Career Man (Male, Los Angeles, 46-55, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: buffer


No answer you receive her is going to add any value to the decision you have to make. That is highly personal between you and him, and it is far too easy for people here to tell you to dump him when they have no clue what you have invested in him and your marriage.

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A Player (Female, 26-28) answered:

Screenname: sxybtch25


If there's no remorse, then what's to keep him from doing it again? He's not committed to the successful outcome of the marriage if he's not going to change his bad ways and whole heartedly try to make things work. He can never earn your trust and forgiveness if he isn't sorry in the least bit.

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A Thinker (Female, 46-55, Who Cares?) answered:

Screenname: spitfire815


Thats it's over.... Plain & Simple.

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A Creative (Female, Atlanta, 46-55, Teaching) answered:

Screenname: dustymax


Unless he undergoes a big and I do mean big change of some sort, I don't have faith in him not doing it again---again and probably again. As Dr Phil says, "the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior". There are many wonderful men out there with integrity and the character to have a trusting and wonderful relatioship with a woman. My adive is to say goodbye to the cheater and be open to building better relatioships.

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A Thinker (Female, Atlanta, 36-45) answered:


Cheating on a spouse is a serious problem. Feeling no remorse is even more serious. I would have to ask this question...is this man usually so careless about his actions not caring what others think, or is this out of character for him?
If he is normally careless and thoughtless, the affair would be the last straw!
But, if that's not the case I would hope you both would take the time to untangle what is probably a complex issue.

Was the marriage already experiencing problems?
Sometimes an affair is a symptom of a deeper problem in the marriage. (I'm not saying that was a good excuse, but it might explain his behavior).

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A Thinker (Female, 18-21, Student) answered:

Screenname: lilweirdme


what a jerk
it shows problems !

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A Career Woman (Female, 29-35, Fitness) answered:


I'm not sure about the future of the marriage.
It does say a lot about him though! And it says he suffer from antisocial personality disorder - these people always cheat, no matter who they're with, and feel no remorse. The part of the brain that deal with remorse has not developed.
Therefore, it means he will keep cheating on all of his women and he will never feel bad.

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A Trendsetter (Female, 26-28, Financial / Banking) answered:

Screenname: shahista


It means"this is me and if u want to continue our marriage like this then fine, u want to fight it I will leave"


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A Cool Mom (Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: barbiedoll33


I don't think he would have much of a future....

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A Trendsetter (Female, San Francisco, 36-45, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: msheartbeat


No remorse means he doesn't care anymore whether he hurts her or not. Whatever vows he took to maintain fidelity with that woman have been revoked. The "marriage" they have is one of name only, not spiritual and not based on love.

He wants her to get the nutts to file for divorce. He is behaving badly to make her stand up for herself and do something. If she sticks around and takes this, he will lose even MORE respect for her and his bad behavior will increase.

When a man has this type of attitude about his wife, the marriage is effectively over.

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A Hippie Chick (Female, 46-55, Self-Employed) answered:

Screenname: roanna


There is something very wrong.No future.

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A Guy Critical (Male, Portland, 36-45, Technical) answered:


Sounds like the woman treated him so bad he doesn't care about the relationship anymore.

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A Jock (Male, Tampa, 26-28, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: strongbow


there should be no future...

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A Thinker (Female, Cleveland, 29-35, Student) answered:

Screenname: seductivepisces9


I think it says that he doesn't give a damn about his wife's feelings and so she should return the favor by divorcing the louse.

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A Thinker (Female, 46-55, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: sugarsweet


no remorse which means
no guilt
no conscience
no shame
no respect
trust and respect are one of the most very important tools are very much needed to build a marriage.
love,trust,respect is a strong foundation in which a marriage in built upon.
without love,respect,trust, one have no marriage nor future.
what you have is, two people live with eachother.
depend upon how long they have been with eachother, don't be supirse! she might know he's a cheater.
99 percent of the time, we as womens know our mens as to, if or not he's up for no good.


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An Alternative Girl (Female, Charlotte, 46-55, Administrative) answered:

Screenname: rhonda35


Well, that would depend entirely on his wife. Obviously, he cares little for his wife, if at all. So, it would be up to her if she wanted the marriage to continue or not.

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A Sweet Sarah (Female, 18-21, Retail) answered:

Screenname: timewilltell08


It means that his heart is no longer in the marriage, thus it's over. A man who cared about the relationship would feel remorse. If he doesn't, he no longer has romantic feelings for his wife..

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A Thinker (Female, 66 or older, Retired) answered:

Screenname: shrinkess


Not too much, unless they are married for reasons other than love.

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A Guy Critical (Male, 22-25) answered:

Screenname: dbacksfan


It says that there is no future for the marriage.

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A Thinker (Female, St.Louis, 29-35, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: michellekia


...I don't think he loves her. Even if your desires led you to do that..you still wouldn't want someone that you loved to hurt.

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A Married Girl (Female, Miami, 29-35, Home Maker) answered:

Screenname: anonymouse32


its been over a long long time...

(aka - NONE)

:o)

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A Thinker (Female, 56-65, Executive) answered:

Screenname: jumpin4u


Marriage was over long ago....

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A Creative (Female, 29-35) answered:


He is not happy and they should seek counseling or just end it. It's diffrent with everyone. Are there children involved? Has she cheated on him? If that is the case, it has no chance. Just end it. I have been there and done that. Lack of communication if you ask me.

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A Thinker (Female, 56-65, Retired) answered:


I know someone like that. He's had numerous affairs, not bothering much to be discreet or keep them secret,in hopes that the wife would find out and do what he's too much of a coward to do.It is a response to being in a lonng,controlled relationship but surprie, surprize...she won't let him go so now comes the waiting game. Who will give up first. either she can continue to be the target of everyone's ridicule, he can develop some backbone(doubtful)or they can play out this pathetic scenerio until they die. What a waste of lives.

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A Sportif (Female, Vancouver, 36-45, Medical / Dental) answered:

Screenname: vwgirl


Depends on whether she finds out. If she does, she may or may not leave him (many women do stay, especially if there are kids involved). She may never find out though. Many men cheat for years and their wives never find out.

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An Engaged Girl (Female, 22-25, Celebrity) answered:

Screenname: lolilife


that there is no future

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A Thinker (Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession) answered:

Screenname: ladywisteria


That it is doomed!

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A Mr. Nice Guy (Male, New York, 36-45, Managerial) answered:

Screenname: tnix123


Its over and has been over for a while and she just finally found out.

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